Find churches with marriage support near you
Larger churches are the most likely to run a relationship course each year. Search your town to see what is nearby.
What churches actually offer couples
The phrase "marriage counselling" covers several quite different things in a church setting. It helps to know which one you are looking for before you get in touch.
Marriage preparation
If you marry in church, some preparation comes as standard. Church of England clergy will normally meet an engaged couple several times before the wedding to talk through the vows, the service and the realities of married life. Roman Catholic parishes ask couples to complete a preparation programme, often run through Marriage Care, a Catholic charity working across England and Wales whose courses and counselling are open to everyone. Free churches vary, but most ministers will not marry a couple they have never sat down with.
Preparation is not a test to pass. It is a structured chance to talk about money, family, children, faith and expectations before the big day, with someone who has seen hundreds of marriages up close.
The Marriage Course and similar programmes
The best-known church-based programme in Britain is The Marriage Course, developed at Holy Trinity Brompton in London by Nicky and Sila Lee. It runs over seven sessions, usually an evening a week in a church hall or cafe setting, with a meal or dessert, a talk, and private conversation between the two of you. You never share anything with the wider group, which is precisely why many couples who would balk at "counselling" are happy to attend. Thousands of churches across the UK host it, along with its sister course for engaged couples.
Other churches run their own enrichment evenings, marriage weekends or small groups working through a book together. Costs are modest: many courses ask only for a contribution towards food and materials, rarely more than £20 or £30 for the whole course, and no church will turn a couple away over money.
Pastoral support from clergy
When a marriage hits trouble, the first port of call in many congregations is still the minister. Clergy offer a listening ear, prayer, perspective and complete discretion. What they generally do not offer is clinical therapy, and good clergy know the difference. Expect a wise conversation and, where the difficulties run deep, a referral to a trained counsellor.
Church support or professional counselling?
For entrenched conflict, infidelity, addiction or anything touching on safety, a qualified relationship counsellor is the right person. Relate is the UK's largest provider, Marriage Care offers low-cost counselling from a Christian foundation, and many independent Christian counsellors are accredited through professional bodies such as the Association of Christian Counsellors. A faith-aware counsellor can work within your convictions about marriage while bringing proper clinical training.
The honest answer is that church courses and professional counselling do different jobs. A course strengthens a reasonably healthy marriage; counselling untangles a struggling one. Plenty of couples benefit from both at different seasons.
How to find help near you
- Search our directory for churches in your area, then look for a "marriage", "relationships" or "courses" page on their websites.
- Check The Marriage Course finder for the nearest venue and start date; new courses typically begin in autumn and after New Year.
- Ask any local minister directly. Even if their own church runs nothing, they will know which church in town does.
- For counselling proper, contact Relate, Marriage Care or an accredited Christian counsellor.
Frequently asked questions
Do we need to be churchgoers, or even religious, to join a course?
No. The Marriage Course in particular is designed for any couple, and hosts are used to a mix of faith and none. The content draws on Christian understanding of commitment but nobody will press religion on you.
Is what we share confidential?
On a course you share almost nothing publicly, so the question rarely arises. In pastoral conversations, clergy hold confidences carefully, though unlike accredited counsellors they are not bound by a clinical framework. If confidentiality matters to you, say so at the start and ask how it will be handled.
Will a church help if we are not married but living together?
Almost always, yes. Churches hold a traditional view of marriage, but courses and pastoral care are open to cohabiting and engaged couples, and you will be made welcome rather than lectured.